Career Success Archives

Are You a Square Peg Trying to Fill a Round Hole? [Updated]

August 13, 2018 by Marc Miller 20 Comments

Square Peg?

Are you the square peg trying to fit into a round hole in your career?

I have been working with quite a few square pegs. They just do not fit into the traditional roles that corporations define.

Some try to squeeze themselves into those roles. Some are very successful. Unfortunately, they usually end up unhappy and unhealthy. The stress of making themselves fit wreaks havoc on their physical and mental health.

I am starting to realize that I am—to some extent—one of these square pegs!

Note: This post was originally published in October of 2015 and was updated in August of 2018.

Becoming an Actor

For many of us when we started our careers we became actors. We were hired to play a role and if we stayed in character long enough we started to think we were that role. I have often written on this blog about becoming an extrovert in order to make more money. I am a closet introvert.

When I was in my 20s, 30s, and 40s, I could stay in character for long periods of time. When I reached my 50s staying in character became exhausting. I found that periodically I would become completely exhausted which seemed completely out of character. I would then need to take time to recharge. Unfortunately, I kept on getting exhausted and it took longer and longer to recharge.

In 2004, I went off to teach high school math in an inner-city high school in Austin, Texas. That first year was exhausting and I really did not understand why. I had convinced myself that I was an extrovert. You can learn more about this from my podcast From High-Tech Training to High School Teacher, and Why I Left.

That summer I really focused on resting and relaxing. I needed to recharge. When I returned in the fall, I thought I was ready but I was not. I left teaching at winter break and it probably took me a year to recover.

I had become an actor and continuing to stay in character was exhausting.

Have you been an actor at work?

Common Characteristics

Square pegs come in many forms, but let me describe their most common characteristics.

Creative – They have a very high interest in music, art, and/or literature. Many have abandoned those interests because they do not fit into what our economy values or is willing to pay for. Instead, they often express their creativity in colorful spreadsheets or attractive PowerPoint presentations.
Structure – They do not like staying between the lines. They want the freedom to do it their own way. They are good in chaotic situations where they get to make the rules.
Introverted – They work best when by themselves or on a small, cohesive team. If you ask them to make a presentation, give them plenty of time to prepare. Consider Steve Jobs who was very introverted. Jobs would rehearse and rehearse and rehearse before every product announcement.
High Empathy – They are kind, caring individuals who want to be treated similarly by their colleagues. I have worked in the high-tech field for most of my career. High empathy people are not generally welcomed or considered the norm.
Low Authority – They would prefer having a colleague to a boss. If you try to micromanage them, it is not pretty!

Do you see any of these characteristics in yourself?

These personality traits are largely incompatible with today’s work environment.

Today’s work environment does not highly value an interest in music, art, or literature.
You are supposed to follow the rules.
You are rewarded for being an extrovert. I am a closet introvert! But, I have learned to behave like an extrovert in order to succeed.
Emotions are not welcome in most workplaces.
Strong leadership is valued in the workplace, but some of us just want to left alone to get our job done.

Cultural Dyslexia

Another issue I currently see is cultural dyslexia. These are people who were born into indirect culture (Indian, Chinese, Japanese, etc.) but were then raised in their teenage years in a direct culture (the U.S. and Europe). They attend western universities and acquire some western personality traits.

The problem is that they do not feel they belong in either their birth culture or their adopted culture. I call this cultural dyslexia and we will see a lot more of this issue as people move around the world.

Does everyone suffer from cultural dyslexia who make this transition? No! However, I have seen it enough and how it causes them great angst in trying to fit in that round hole.

Cultural dyslexia is just another form of a square peg trying to fit into a round hole.

Another Example

I worked with a client who was a top-flight IT project manager. She had been seduced into multiple jobs only to have it end in a nasty divorce. She would take a position, run a project for a year and then her boss would give her the same kind of project again.

She would say … “well, ok.”

After another year the project would come to an end and her boss would put on another similar project. She would get angry and say, “NO!” Her bosses response was to think, “we are putting you in your comfort zone.”

The problem was her comfort zone was always to do something new. I hate to tell you but for the average project manager that is very unusual. She did not understand that she just did not fit the hole that her boss was putting her in.

Do you see yourself in any of these examples?

Are you a square peg?

Marc Miller

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What If You Are Not Passionate About Anything? [Updated]

June 6, 2018 by Marc Miller 58 Comments

What If You Are not Passionate About Anything?

Well, there are a lot of us out there who are not passionate about any ONE thing. We are passionate about a combination of things!

I have talked about those interests that you must fulfill to be happy. In my last post, I talked about my wife and her very high outdoors interest. She knew about this — kinda but she was not aware of it to the extent that she would go outdoors when she felt blue or just needed a boost.

What happens when you are not passionate about anything?

What if you have so many interests that there is not one thing that drives you? Society tells us that being passionate about one thing will drive you to success.

I hate to tell you but that is BS! I am not passionate about any one thing, but a lot of things, and I am fine just that way I am!

Note: This post was originally written in May 2012 and has been the most popular post on CareerPivot.com ever since. It was updated in June 2018.

Interests = Passions

I do have a lot of interests but nothing I am passionate about. The following graphic came from my Birkman assessment. A score of 85 or above is a strong interest and a score over 90 is something you must have in your life to be happy. Notice I do not have any interests over 82. I like to do a lot of different things.

What you will notice about me is:

I like putting things together, either physically or logically. (Mechanical)
I like helping people. I have run help desks, support groups and been in training most of my career. (Social Service)
I like to research stuff and figure things out. (Scientific)
I like to propose ideas and communicate. (Persuasive)
To a lesser degree, I like the outdoors. (Outdoor)

For More: Do your skills match your interests in your career?

Multipontentialite

Multipotentialites have a lot of different interests. The problem is there is no single interest that drives them. The one common theme is they love to learn.

You could describe me as a multipotentialite. I like to do a lot of things, not just one.

For More: Are you a Multipotentialite?.

What do I not like to do?

I am not a reader AT ALL! (Literary)

If you have read earlier postings you would have learned that I graduated from high school reading extremely poorly. I read at maybe 30-40 words per minute. Reading was hard work! Even though I have overcome that in the last 30 years, I still do not read for enjoyment. I read books when required.

I do not love to do anything. I like to do a lot of things. This is both good and bad. On the good side, I have been able to move around in my career: programmer, engineer, trainer, IT consultant, public speaker, salesperson, school teacher, help desk support person, non-profit fundraiser and now a career designer.

On the bad side, I have been directionless from time to time. I wrote about this in my post when I left teaching titled, Dealing with that Directionless Feeling. Rather interesting – this post is found by readers using Google search every week. I am not the only one who gets this feeling from time to time.

What Can You Do About It?

I have long accepted that I need variety in what I do on both a daily and long-term basis. In my career, I have typically changed jobs or area every 3-5 years. This means I have made a lot of lateral career moves, which as a baby boomer, I was told was not something you wanted to do. We were supposed to always be looking for that next promotion.

I followed my own drummer!

I now try to make a change to my business every year to add variety.

I started the Repurpose Your Career Podcast in 2016, which has added a lot of variety. Learning how to produce a podcast has stretched me considerably.

The Career Pivot community website project was started in 2017 and is currently in beta. Building a membership website and community is something I have never done before.

In 2018, along with my virtual assistant, we have been re-organizing the website. You will probably notice the section –

Do You Need Help With …

at the bottom of every post and in the sidebar. We spent a lot of time digging through the nearly thousand pieces of content on the website and organized it into portals. This was fun! We created a Start Here page and eight portal pages.

I purposely make changes to keep things interesting. I am not passionate about anything. I am passionate about a combination of things.

How about you? Do you feel that you are not passionate about anything?

Are you NOT driven by a single calling? Check out my post about being a multipotentialite and let me know if that resonates with you.

Note: This post is found daily! If you have found this article you are not alone. There are a lot of us who are not driven by any single interest. THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH ME OR YOU.

Marc Miller

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Are You Likeable? Does It Matter for Career Success? [Updated]

May 9, 2018 by Marc Miller Leave a Comment

Are You Likeable?

Is it important to be likable as it relates to your work and career? Do you consider yourself a likable person? Think about some of the best people you have worked with. Have they been likeable? Is it important to be likable to be successful?

In most cases, the answer is “yes.” Now, Steve Jobs was not exactly a likeable guy and for many years neither was Bill Gates. However, I think you will find a lot of very successful people found their success through being likeable.

Likeability and Your Career or Business

Currently, there is much being written on this topic.

Likeable Business: Why Today’s Consumers Demand More and How Leaders Can Deliver by Dave Kerpen.

It pays to be LIKEABLE!

You can have a rock-solid business strategy, unlimited resources, and the most talented people on staff. But only one thing is guaranteed in today’s hyper-connected society: if your business isn’t likeable, it will fail.

Likeonomics: The Unexpected Truth Behind Earning Trust, Influencing Behavior, and Inspiring Action by Rohit Bhargava

How to become a trusted resource for consumers in a society of constant manipulation

People decide who to trust, what advice to heed, and which individuals to forge personal or transactional relationships with based on a simple metric of believability. Success, in turn, comes from understanding one basic principle: how to be more trusted.

Likeonomics offers a new vision of a world beyond Facebook where personal relationships, likeability, brutal honesty, extreme simplicity, and basic humanity are behind everything from multi-million dollar mergers to record-breaking product sales. There is a real ROI to likeability, and exactly how big it is will amaze you.

Give and Take: Why Helping Others Drives Our Success by Adam Grant

Givers are at the top and the bottom of career success. Bottom early in their career and at the top later in their career.

For generations, we have focused on the individual drivers of success: passion, hard work, talent, and luck. But today, success is increasingly dependent on how we interact with others. It turns out that at work, most people operate as either takers, matchers, or givers. Whereas takers strive to get as much as possible from others and matchers aim to trade evenly, givers are the rare breed of people who contribute to others without expecting anything in return.

13 Habits of Exceptionally Likeable People on Forbes.com by Travis Bradberry

Too many people succumb to the mistaken belief that being likeable comes from natural, unteachable traits that belong only to a lucky few—the good-looking, the fiercely social, and the incredibly talented. It’s easy to fall prey to this misconception. In reality, being likeable is under your control, and it’s a matter of emotional intelligence (EQ).

The 13 habits of exceptionally likeable people are as follows. They:

Ask questions
Put their phones away
Are genuine
Don’t pass judgment
Don’t seek attention
Are consistent
Use positive body language
Leave a strong first impression
Greet people by name
Smile
Know when to open up
Know who to touch (and they touch them)
Balance passion and fun

Being Likeable and Career Success

We all know that not all successful businessmen or women have been likeable. There have been a lot of evil or mean people who have been very successful. I believe that is changing and changing fast. Just look at the #MeToo Movement.

Being likeable will be even more important to your career success moving forward.

What has changed?

The speed of communication has accelerated. Just look at what has happened in Hollywood. Look what is happening in Washington D.C. with the sexual and ethical lapses of our politicians being called out and now being forced to resign.

Those who are not likeable will not create good karma and it will cost them…eventually. In this day in age, where everything you do is recorded, if you are not be working on being likeable, it will cost you. It may not cost you immediately – but in the long run – it will catch up with you.

This does not mean becoming someone you are not. It is being respectful, considerate and treating others the way you want to be treated.

It has been said many times that:

People hire people they like!

In my opinion, it is more important for your career success to be likeable than knowledgeable.

Yes, it does matter to be likeable!

What do you think?

Marc Miller

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Are Your Emails Ignored? Call Them on the Telephone!

April 30, 2018 by Marc Miller Leave a Comment

Emails Ignored?

I was trying to reach out to a LinkedIn connection last week and it appeared my connection ignored all of my email attempts. Emails were sent to their personal and business accounts. I sent them a LinkedIn message.

I got crickets back.

Most of you at this point would have given up.

Not me! I started looking for their phone number.

Yes, you can reach out to them on that device called a telephone.

We have all run into this situation where we send an email and we get nothing back. No response.

It could be:

The email ended up in their SPAM folder
They say it went ehh…
The volume of email that day pushed your note way down
They do not like you

Why they did not respond is completely unknown to you. You can make all of the stories up in your head and the reality is you do not know. I call this the MSU (Make Stuff Up) disorder.

Too Many Emails

We know a lot of time emails are ignored because we get too much email. By the way, I use a product called SaneBox to categorize my emails. If you are interested here is my affiliate link.

We all are afflicted by too many emails especially during certain times of the week. This depends on how many newsletters we are subscribed to, the email habits of our work colleagues and so forth.

What can we do?

Pick up the telephone! I know it is old school but then I am old school AND IT WORKS!

I Don’t Have Their Telephone Number!

In the old days, you could pick up the telephone book and find someone’s telephone number but now we have the Internet.

I wanted my LinkedIn connection’s phone number – so where could I find their phone number?

I looked on their LinkedIn profile. It was not in their contact information.

I scanned through their summary section of their LinkedIn profile looking for their phone number. Nope, not there.

I located their employer’s website and went to the contact page. No phone number there. Not to be deterred I googled “company name phone number.” I found the company phone number on several websites including the reputable website, Bloomberg.com. Great! I called the number.

First time I called I was shuttled to someone’s voicemail. Hmm.. later I called back and got a recording “no one is available to take your call.”

I then went to Whitepages.com and typed in the name of the person I was looking for. Bingo! It popped up with someone that was likely my contact. In fact, this person lived relatively close to me.

I called the number and got a voicemail. I left a message and I had an email response in less than 30 minutes.

Is My Phone Number Out There?

You may be wondering what information is available about you. Go to Whitepages.com and type in your name and zip code. You will likely be surprised that they know your age, address, names of your immediate relatives and other information. If you are willing to pay, you can find all kinds of information that is available to you or anyone else.

If you find that your emails are ignored, figure out how to find the person’s phone number and call them.

You might want to reach out to a close friend, relative or work colleague to get their phone number.

It reminds of the old AT&T commercial that said reach out and touch someone.

Go ahead and use the telephone when your emails are being ignored.

Marc Miller

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Our Perceptions of Ourselves and Others and Their Impact [Updated]

April 11, 2018 by Marc Miller 2 Comments

Our Perceptions

Our perceptions of who we are is our reality!

Our perceptions of others is our reality!

That is some pretty heady stuff.

What about others’ perceptions?

How others perceive you is their reality.

Do you know how others perceive you?

If you think you know how others perceive you, where do you derive that from? Did you ask them?

When our perception of ourselves is different from others’ perception of us, we run into problems at work. More than likely, it will cause us stress.

How Do Others Perceive Us?

I recently updated a post Do Others Prejudge You Based on Your LinkedIn Profile? [Updated] where I talk about how people prejudge us for a whole variety of reasons. Their perception is based on our profession, family, race, gender, education, social standing and social media presence or lack thereof.

This is even more true in our connected society where people’s perceptions are based on what media channels they listen to or watch.

No matter what you think, people perceive you differently than you think. I like to tell people you do not see yourself as others see you.

Roger Birkman and Perceptions

I wrote this post originally several years ago after attending the Birkman Next Generation Conference in Sugarland Texas. The conference was attended by hundreds of Birkman consultants who use the Birkman Assessment to help individuals and companies reach peak performance. This was the first conference not attended by Dr. Roger Birkman, who passed away at the age of 95 earlier this year.

Dr. Roger Birkman, a World War II pilot, was fascinated by the impact that perceptions had on pilot and crew performance. Dr. Birkman went on to study psychology in the war and later developed the Birkman Assessment.

The Birkman Method, as it is formally known, is a personality, social perception, and occupational interest assessment used to identify behavioral strengths, motivational needs, stress behavior, and occupational interests.

I have been using the Birkman Assessment for six years on hundreds of clients. I am still fascinated by what it reveals and how there can be major disconnects between our perceptions of ourselves and how others perceive us.

The science behind the assessment is how we perceive other people is how we want to be treated. The latest version of the reporting structure presents how we perceive others and compares it to how we perceive ourselves. This is probably as close to measuring emotional intelligence that you can get. It does not measure EI but it does give you a framework to explore how our perceptions of the world and ourselves and how they differ.

Deep stuff!!or

Example #1 – Introvert Who Likes Crowds

I am currently working with a gentleman who you could describe as an introvert. In the Birkman Method, he is referred to as low acceptance. He likes working by himself or with a small group of close colleagues. Many would assume he would want to work from home.

Does he want to work from home? NO! In fact, %^$& NO!

He very much needs to be around people. He does not necessarily want to interact or work projects with others, but he needs to be around people. You would never know this unless you talked with him about his need.

The world of coworking spaces has arisen just for these kinds of people.

Example #2 – Structured Anarchist

I have written before about my client that I refer to as a Structured Anarchist.

Bob appears as a very orderly person. He loves rules and structure, or at least that is how he appears. In the Birkman Method, he is referred to as High Structure.

What Bob really loves is creating rules and structure. By the way, he is phenomenally good at creating systems. He just does not want any rules or structure placed on him when creating these systems.

Others’ perceptions of Bob did not align with Bob’s own perception of himself. He kept being placed in very orderly roles, but what he really wanted was to be placed in total and complete chaos where he could create order.

It was not until we worked through the Birkman Assessment that we identified this disconnect and he could articulate this strength. He no longer waits to be placed into a role, but he actively seeks out opportunities where he gets to create order out of chaos.

Example #3 – Closet Introvert

I admit it, I am a closet introvert. You would never know it from seeing me present or work a room. I am highly social, however, my need is to spend lots of time by myself. When I am done working a room or presenting I am exhausted. I am toast.

People look at me and think I am an extrovert. I am not! I have learned to behave like an extrovert but I do not get energy from being around people. The reality is being around people consumes massive amounts of energy. I like being around people but it is a giant energy suck!

You can read more about being a closet introvert in my post 3 Signs You Are a Closet Introvert and What to Do! [Updated]

We Are Actors at Work

When most of us went off to start our careers we became actors. We go to work and play roles. We learn to play these roles and if we stay in character long enough we may start believing we are that character.

We learn skills that will pay us an income. Some of those skills pay us a lot of money but with a cost. I learned to be quite a good presenter. When I worked for IBM, I spent 10 years as an articulate techno-weenie or a geek that could speak.

The cost was it exhausted me. I would cycle through periods of back problems that would send me to bed, then I would take a break, get better and go back at it.

You can read more about this in my post Search actor Are You Your Authentic Self or an Actor at Work? [Updated].

How Are Your Perceptions of You and Others?

If you would like to learn more about Birkman Assessment, watch this excellent video below!

This video was created back in 2014 and it charged me up. I wanted to share this video with you.

Do you see the impact that perceptions have in the workplace?

Feel free to reach out to me through my contact form if you want to discuss the Birkman Assessment any further.

Marc Miller

Be sure to check out the Career Pivot Client Testimonials Page

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Job Search	Career Pivot/Change	Career Success	Careers in the 2nd Half of Life
Social Media	Multi-Generational Workplace	Networking	Entrepreneurship

Square Peg?

Becoming an Actor

Common Characteristics

Cultural Dyslexia

Another Example

Do You Need Help With ...

What If You Are not Passionate About Anything?

Interests = Passions

Multipontentialite

What Can You Do About It?

Do You Need Help With …

Do You Need Help With ...

Are You Likeable?

Likeability and Your Career or Business

Likeable Business: Why Today’s Consumers Demand More and How Leaders Can Deliver by Dave Kerpen.

It pays to be LIKEABLE!

Likeonomics: The Unexpected Truth Behind Earning Trust, Influencing Behavior, and Inspiring Action by Rohit Bhargava

Give and Take: Why Helping Others Drives Our Success by Adam Grant

13 Habits of Exceptionally Likeable People on Forbes.com by Travis Bradberry

Being Likeable and Career Success

Do You Need Help With ...

Emails Ignored?

Too Many Emails

I Don’t Have Their Telephone Number!

Is My Phone Number Out There?

Do You Need Help With ...

Our Perceptions

How Do Others Perceive Us?

Roger Birkman and Perceptions

Example #1 – Introvert Who Likes Crowds

Example #2 – Structured Anarchist

Example #3 – Closet Introvert

We Are Actors at Work

How Are Your Perceptions of You and Others?

Do You Need Help With ...

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